FROM: The Northern Literary Messenger
TO: Associated Press of the World
The handsome and talented Mr. Ali Wupley, of "An Asshole Sold a Glowing Crow in a Bowl" fame, has this morning announced his intention to develop a new screenplay. The screenplay, entitled "The Talented Mr. Wupley", will see Matt Damon (A life-long fan of Wupley's), Meryl Streep and the oriental exotic dancer known as "Rice Dream" band together on a quest to save Europe from the evil machinations of a ruthless Italian dictator.
Speaking from his home in the South of France, Mr. Wupley had this to say:
Reporter: Mr. Wupley, thank you for agreeing to this interview.
Mr. Wupley: Don't worry about it. I have an announcement to make... An announcment. In six weeks I will reveal my magnum opus... A work I have christened, "The Talented Mr. Wupley". It stars Matt Damon, that Streep woman and a beautiful exotic dancer known only as Rice Dream. That's all I have to say at present.
I know I speak for the collective peoples of this, and indeed all other planets when I say that I am incomprehensibly excited to see what Mr. Wupley has in store for us.
Rodger Porter, (R. Porter)