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Saturday, 13 August 2016

The Key to the Key can be found at the Quay

JOB 38:11

You have come this far, but you will go no further. I see you. I know that you are watching, reading, waiting. I do not mean that.

The anxious among you are waiting with baited breath. It's palpable. Subtle. For what? Well, who, actually.

The Book of Job, Chapter 38, beginning at the 11th verse. "Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further."

Will I go further? Who will determine that? Whose decision has yet to be made? Yours? Yours?... Yes, you. The one reading this, knowing that I am referring to you.

No, not you. That would be too obvious, even for me.

Does my ham-handed attempt at subtlety work? Do I upset you?

I do have good skin.

No. Not for that reason.

Be quiet, you. And stop making this all about yourself. You know to whom I am speaking. If it was you, I would have told you.

"And there came unto the Lord a young man who could not walk, and he was carried forth unto Him by Mary, the Mother of Jesus Christ. And the Lord took forth a sword and cleft the man in twain. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But lo! The Lord said unto the people, "Have ye faith in the Lord? In he whose greatness shall be even until the ending of the world?" And the Lord said unto the cripple, "Take up thy bed and fly."

Ich Bin Von.

Impertinence? Worthy of discipline? Worthy of dismissal? Worthy of death?

"Yes, waiter. I'd like a potato, baked. And a bottle of wine, please."

Judas was angry. He looked at the bill: $254.70. What? Why should he have to pay 1/13th of the bill? He'd only ordered a salad. Jesus was the one who had insisted on two entrees. Fuck him.

"Hey, guys. Should we just split the bill?" asked Jesus. The disciples nodded. 12 bobble-heads. Jesus saw that Judas, who was called Iscariot, was upset. "Yo, Judas!" he called, "What the fuck's wrong with you?" - Judas looked at him. "N-nothing, J." And Jesus laughed "Shut the fuck up and pay 1/13th of the bill, you cunt."

THIS is the word of the Lord.

Middle-aged women make the best conspiracy theorists. Their lives are over; their bodes are sagging and their asses slack.

"Judith! Judith! Look here! I've been examining Poussin's Shepherds of Arcadia all night and I think I finally understand it!"

"Oh really, Joan? How exciting. Hang on, I'm just uncorking this, our sixteenth bottle of red wine. It's an excellent vintage: 2015!... Now, what have you discovered, Joan?!"

"Well, as you know, Pisces is transiting Jupiter; today is the day of alignment. I consulted the Tarot deck and came up aces!... Look, Judith, look!... The shepherds aren't wearing any shoes!!!"

"Wait... no... But... but that's impossible... Could it really mean that..."

"YES, Judith. Shoe rhymes with "moo". Cows moo. Cows produce milk, milk is white and delicious. In the UK they have chocolates called Dairy Milk. People who enjoy Dairy Milk also enjoy the popular assorted chocolates, Roses, and roses are the symbol of the Priory in reference to the GRAIL!"

"Oh, Joan! JOAN! You've cracked it. By Jehovah, you've done it!"

"Pour me another bottle-- Whoops, I mean glass. *giggle*"


19 year old Psychology students are naive. It's so easy to read them. "Hi, I do Psychology. I understand how the world works." -- What, I hear you ask, is the best way to divert them? Indulge them.

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