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Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Enoch: Handsome and Intelligent!

Recovered from former premises of the P.o.S. - E.'s play: Act 1, Scene 1.


Foreword by Sgt. V. V. D. L. T. K.: I don't know how you got this email address. I don't know you, and I certainly do not know anything about a missing chalice. Nor will I, as a public official, provide a personal or professional endorsement for any personal or professional endeavours of any person or professional, personally or professionally. 



The curtain rises. Enoch, an incredibly handsome man in his late 30s, stands alone in the centre of the stage. The setting is a lavish parlour room. 

Enoch: It is I! Enoch Poss. Inarguably the handsomest, intelligentist, most intelligent Postal Officer in the whole South!


Orlaith and Charmane: Truly! Oh, but Enoch! Misery and woe have fallen upon we two fair maidens. Surely no man is as wise as you, nor any man as brave. Therefore we handsome and well-proportioned women do ask of you your help! Deign to assist us, fair Enoch. For you are wise and handsome. 

Enoch: You both speak true. I can see that you are perceptive women, and I, Enoch Poss, handsomest and most intelligent of all men, shall lend you my assistance. But tell me fair and well-proportioned women, what is it that troubles you? For what reason have you sought the help of I, Enoch Poss, handsomest and most intelligent of all Postal workers, bar none?

Charmane: Oh Enoch! Had we but known of your great wisdom and kindness, we would have sought out your help long ago. (To the audience) His great bravery and handsome features set him apart from other, lesser men! Enoch has no equal! 

Orlaith: Enoch! A rapscallion is harassing us! We have come to ask you to waylay his postage as punishment. But seeing you now. . . Your muscles, your tanned skin, your bulging. . . Oh my, I seem to have fallen faint at the thought of your incredible, undeniable handsomeness and intelligence. 

Enoch: A rapscallion, eh? Bounder! Oaf! Lothario! Philanderer! Debauchee! Libertine! I shall slay the unsuspecting fool ere dawn breaks o'er my handsome features. For I am Enoch Poss! Handsomest and most intelligent of all men! Go now, fair maidens, I shall greet you again when the deed is done. 


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