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Saturday, 30 May 2015

Act DXLIX, Scene IV

Ms. Lancashire and Mr. E. are trying on hats.

Ms. Lancashire: I say!

Mr. E.: What do you say?

Ms. Lancashire: What a fabulous hat!

Mr. E.: Yes... It is a fabulous hat. 

Ms. Lancashire: I agree, Mr. E. . . . By the way, E., you never told me what your real name is. 

Mr. E.: I am a phantom. My name is Mr. E., as in, mystery! 

Ms. Lancashire: Hmm... Perhaps. How about this one? 

Mr. E.: I like it. It acts as a foil for your ridiculously round face.

Ms. Lancashire: Here, E., try this top hat on. It'll suit you.

Mr. E.: I look foppish. 

Ms. Lancashire: If by foppish you mean incredibly handsome, then yes, you look very foppish.

Mr. E.: You are a gracious lady, Ms. Lancashire. Now, tell me about this chalice you have lost.

Ms. Lancashire:... It happened a few weeks ago, E. -- I was tending my garden, and I heard a noise from the house. I ran back inside and saw that my chalice, which is usually hidden among my collection of Art Deco lamps, was missing. It's obviously been stolen, but who would want an old chalice of late Medieval design? It's not worth very much; a few of the precious gems are missing from the rim. 

Mr. E.:... Ms. Lancashire... Are you in contact with an organisation called... The P-- 

Suddenly Mr. E. drops to the floor. There is a dart lodged in his back. 


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